In the Beginning part 3

I've been medicated for depression pretty much non stop since 2000, but after I stopped taking Paxil, I didn't have any issues with anxiety or panic for almost 8 years. It started again in January of 2008. I think it was brought on by stress at work. In 2005, we transferred from Idaho to the company site in Virginia. Making a move like that is stressful enough, but I started having problems at work that I hadn't faced before. The atmosphere at the Virginia site is much more stressful that what I dealt with in Idaho and from the beginning I didn't get along with my manager. I was also started working nights which was added stress on me and the family. It was a tough time as I felt as if I was under constant stress at work and at home where I'd worry about work. But I didn't have any panic attacks - not until the beginning of 2008. To me it seemed that my psyche just said, "I've had enough and I can't take it anymore. We are going to freak out now." It was a classic panic attack. I was sitting at my desk at work. It was pretty quiet and not very many people around. The night shift has a lot fewer staff than days. My heart started pounding and I was sweating. Every fiber of my being was telling me to get the hell out of there and I had no idea why. I went out to the parking lot and sat in my car hoping I could calm down. I started crying - I was sobbing uncontrollably for about 15 minutes. I thought I was losing my mind. I managed to gain some control and drove home. After that night, I started having issues regularly ranging from anxiety to full blown panic attacks. I have missed a lot of work, but my current manager knows what my problems are and has been very understanding. I've been seeing a Psychiatrist for my medication and a Psychologist for therapy. I haven't had a full blown panic attack in a while, but I'm still plagued by intense anxiety at work. My confidence has totally been shot to hell. It's almost like a phobic reaction to work. Even if I'm not having an anxiety attack, I'm afraid that going into work will cause one. Being in therapy and reading books have given me some coping skills, so I am hopeful that I will be able to get a handle on this and live a normal life.